Rambling: Age bias

I'm not sure about any of you but I experience a lot of age bias by other parents. Meaning because I look/am younger the older parents either think I'm not responsible or loose if you catch my drift. Many people are choosing to wait to get married which then pushes back having children later in life then previous generations. Guess who does not fit that mold.

Several years ago at my daughter's old daycare I had a parent come up to me and ask me why I thought my child should attend the daycare since I was a teenage single Mom; she also asked why I was bringing my accident child to such a great daycare when there were other centers in town for people like me.   HELLO???!!! First of all not all teen Mothers are bad. I have seen/known some very awesome ones. Next who the hell do you think you are to come up to me and say that especially in front of my then 2 year old?! I'm sorry I am not what you think a Mother should look like.

I was married for 2 years prior to getting pregnant but since we got married at what is now considered young (22 & 24 yrs) I am obviously some young, irresponsible, uncaring, parent who let's their child live in chaos. WRONG! I am an uptight, over protective, strict, structured, loving 32 year old parent of a 6 year old. I am involved in her life and put her first. I'm sorry if that doesn't fit your hoity-toity view of an appropriate aged parent. Find something better to waste your time on.

Wedding Anniversary

Happy 8th wedding anniversary to my wonderful husband. We have been together as a couple for 10 years and have been through a lot. He is my best friend, my rock, my heart and soul. Thank you baby for coming on this crazy journey with me.

Friendship Defined by a First Grader

 

Today we invited one of her friends to come over tomorrow and play. While this was being set up she informed me that she knows what friendship is.

So I asked what is friendship?

O: Well (insert friends name here) told me all about it.
Me: And what did she say?

O: That friendship is being kind to each other, it's helping out a friend if they need it like when they fall, friendship is being nice and helping each other.

Me: :-)  That's great! What do you think of what your friend told you?
O: That's what it is Mom so that makes her my best friend even though we're not in the same class this year.  We have friendship like that.

My heart filled with this and I looked over at my husband who was smiling. After she walked away we discussed how wonderful it was for her to have such a great friend.

It seems now a days those basic principles on friendship are no longer followed.  I hope they continue to grow their friendship and support each other the next few years with everything that's waiting for them as they grow.

I just can't stop smiling.

Fall

Fall is coming :sigh: I'm not a huge fan. I do not like cold weather at all. I do not like wearing a winter coat. So Fall and I would be great if it skipped Winter and went back to Spring. Three seasons would be okay with me.

The things I do like about Fall are:
-Pumpkin spice coffee
-Halloween
-the colors
-leaf piles
-cute boots

What is your favorite season?

Random Things: Bath and Body Works Candle

I was not asked to write this post in any way. I just decided to do it. Last week we received a coupon in the mail from Bath and Body Works. I can honestly tell you I have not set foot in that place in probably more then 15 years ago and in another state. The coupon was for a percent off a purchase of some type then one for a free 3 wick candle less ten $22.50. I was skeptical but it worked! We got this awesome candle for free!

I guess the advertising worked. Send me a coupon for free stuff and I'll enter the store. I did not buy anything else but I did get some future ideas :-)

FINALLY Finished The Granny Square Blanket

Yes it is true. I finally finished the granny square blanket for my daughter. It's not perfect but I did my best. I have never done this pattern before or a blanket this big. She loves it so that's all that matters.

What do you guys think?

Previous post had me thinking

Due to the previous post it got me thinking about anxiety and depression. This post has been floating around in my mind for a while now and is a big deal to me to share.

So here goes.
I have depression, anxiety and PTSD sprinkle in a little OCD and we're good.

I am very self aware of these things and I think my background in Human Development and Family studies along with Youth and Family education have helped in recognizing things within myself and made me an effective counselor when I was working in the field.

I grew up in such a way that once I left the sanctuary of my house things sucked. I could not walk out of the house to the bus stop or friends houses with out someone either throwing things at me as well as insults about my appearance and basically how much of a waste of a human being I am. I never understood why I was targeted.  Now I know there are bullies and people say suck it up but this went on for YEARS. On top of all this there were some serious other types of abuse going on outside of my home to complicate this. The serious issues are enough to cause most teens to contemplate suicide and self harm. I did not try either.

Some how I had it in me to just graduate and all would be good. I am very thankful the internet was not like it is today when I grew up that would have been torturous. I found other, safe outlets to get lost in to deal with the pain.

 Let me make one thing crystal clear my parents are and were wonderful. They have never done anything but support me. I don't plan on getting into the super serious stuff because quite honestly I am not ready for my family to have the details. So Mom I know you read this and I hope to one day be ready to tell you. Please don't be mad.

As I got older I started to withdraw from the world and peers. I thought I was not worth it to be friends with people and I lost trust in them.  Once I hit high school I was so withdrawn and distrustful that the handful of people that reached out to me to hang out and such I turned down for fear of them doing something Drew Barrymore Never Been Kissed like. I hated every second of high school.

All I wanted to do was get by and graduate. Graduate and then I can decide who I see, what I do, who I am. I did not go to any dances except Jr & Sr prom, no football games no parties nothing. I got good grades stayed out of trouble and found solace in books. Books where the characters went through the ringer and turned out okay.

I missed 30+ days of school my senior year. All of them excused. Now a days I would have been held back or my parents in trouble but no one questioned it since I was considered a good kid.  I skipped all senior activities and ran like hell to my new freedom after graduation. It took going away to school my jr year of college to finally allow my self to be me. I hid my personality and tried not to dress how I wanted for fear of someone saying something to me. I kept my status quo.

I tell you these things because there was a teacher my sophomore year that took notice to something not right with me. He took notice and approached me with out ever pushing. I never confided but I will never forget how he treated me and made me feel like a worth while person in school. Teachers make an impact. They influence. Joking about serious topics is not okay.

I know some people will read this and say get over it but let me tell you something I wasn't diagnosed with the aforementioned for nothing.  I have made huge strides and have the worlds most patient and supportive husband. I have no idea how I got so lucky.

Moral to the story. Talk to your kids about how their words and actions hurt others. Talk with them and really listen to what they're saying to you. Support and love them. Get involved in their lives. Have the hard/serious discussions.

And teachers watch what you say teens listen more then you think.

Wayward Comments by a teacher

The other day I was perusing my Facebook feed and came across a post by my cousin. This post disturbed me greatly. My cousin is in high school and one of the teachers made a joke in class and when the students didn't laugh the teacher stated that she was going to go kill herself. SERIOUSLY!?!! A teacher stated this to a group of impressionable teenagers who then laughed at the suicide comment.


This teacher just basically made a joke of suicide. Some of these kids may even be depressed and now could see suicide as a valid solution to a temporary problem. I am appalled. Suicide is not a joke.

Per the CDC:

Youth suicide is defined as: Suicide (i.e., taking one's own life) is a serious public health problem that affects even young people. For youth between the ages of 10 and 24, suicide is the third leading cause of death. It results in approximately 4600 lives lost each year. The top three methods used in suicides of young people include firearm (45%), suffocation (40%), and poisoning (8%).

Deaths from youth suicide are only part of the problem. More young people survive suicide attempts than actually die. A nationwide survey of youth in grades 9–12 in public and private schools in the United States (U.S.) found that 16% of students reported seriously considering suicide, 13% reported creating a plan, and 8% reporting trying to take their own life in the 12 months preceding the survey. Each year, approximately 157,000 youth between the ages of 10 and 24 receive medical care for self-inflicted injuries at Emergency Departments across the U.S.

This teacher disgusts me. They made a  mockery of educators and suicide itself. Please if you or anyone you know may be contemplating suicide contact someone for help. Search the Suicide Prevention Wiki for a list of contacts http://suicideprevention.wikia.com/wiki/USA

Hello Hobbies: Shadow Box Gift

I wanted to share with you a project I did for my brother and his wife. They got married almost 2 years ago in NYC and had a very unique wedding. Most of their decorations were handmade by someone or created by them. The theme and design were created by them, Away We Go! It was pretty darn cool.

I decided the day of the wedding after seeing all of their cool decor to create for them for Christmas that year a shadow box with their pieces.

It took some time for me to figure out how to attach things to the board as I have never done a shadow box before.  I folded out their brown bag as the backdrop for the box. 

Next I used some ribbon from their pinwheels to anchor the fortune teller. The fortune teller opened up with basically what was their program of events for the day.

The top left corner has a blue paper flower that was a cupcake topper.

The right corner I attached the place card holder cork that is holding the ticket for the Carousel we went on after the ceremony.

Lastly I placed our flowers in the left corner hand corner. What is neat about all of the flowers is that they are handmade PAPER flowers. Yes paper! They looked awesome.

I think this turned out pretty neat. I am no expert on directions on how to do this. It was a lot of trial an error. Basically what looked good to the eye.

Kids and after school activities

It's that time of year again...well for us we do it all year...the time that not only does school start but all of the after school activities.  Olivia does swim lessons and gymnastics for sports type and we have her enrolled in Huntington Learning Center two days a week (wonderful place). So most week days we are not even home until almost 7 pm.

This past week we noticed that she is not as enthused about gymnastics while she is there anymore.  She loves getting ready and going but noticed that shes goofing off more and not following directions.  Once home we asked her do you still want to go. The answer was a resounding yes! Actually it was more like , "YES MOMMY!!! I want to win a trophy!." Which then resulted in the discussion of how she is not in the pre-team class that follows the track to get a trophy. Next question from her was why not? Another tough conversation about her behavior and not trying.

So we have left it up to her. Do you want to continue on as is? Try harder to make pre-team or switch sports all together? We also asked her if she wanted to maybe learn an instrument, take an art class, or even acting/theater class. The answer we received was still I want to do gymnastics and I want to work harder.

We shall see. Do you put limits on how many activities your child can do during the school year? Do you only allow activities that your child shows passion for? She's our only child so we just kind of choose as a family what can fit in our schedules.