So here goes.
I have depression, anxiety and PTSD sprinkle in a little OCD and we're good.
I am very self aware of these things and I think my background in Human Development and Family studies along with Youth and Family education have helped in recognizing things within myself and made me an effective counselor when I was working in the field.
I grew up in such a way that once I left the sanctuary of my house things sucked. I could not walk out of the house to the bus stop or friends houses with out someone either throwing things at me as well as insults about my appearance and basically how much of a waste of a human being I am. I never understood why I was targeted. Now I know there are bullies and people say suck it up but this went on for YEARS. On top of all this there were some serious other types of abuse going on outside of my home to complicate this. The serious issues are enough to cause most teens to contemplate suicide and self harm. I did not try either.
Some how I had it in me to just graduate and all would be good. I am very thankful the internet was not like it is today when I grew up that would have been torturous. I found other, safe outlets to get lost in to deal with the pain.
Let me make one thing crystal clear my parents are and were wonderful. They have never done anything but support me. I don't plan on getting into the super serious stuff because quite honestly I am not ready for my family to have the details. So Mom I know you read this and I hope to one day be ready to tell you. Please don't be mad.
As I got older I started to withdraw from the world and peers. I thought I was not worth it to be friends with people and I lost trust in them. Once I hit high school I was so withdrawn and distrustful that the handful of people that reached out to me to hang out and such I turned down for fear of them doing something Drew Barrymore Never Been Kissed like. I hated every second of high school.
All I wanted to do was get by and graduate. Graduate and then I can decide who I see, what I do, who I am. I did not go to any dances except Jr & Sr prom, no football games no parties nothing. I got good grades stayed out of trouble and found solace in books. Books where the characters went through the ringer and turned out okay.
I missed 30+ days of school my senior year. All of them excused. Now a days I would have been held back or my parents in trouble but no one questioned it since I was considered a good kid. I skipped all senior activities and ran like hell to my new freedom after graduation. It took going away to school my jr year of college to finally allow my self to be me. I hid my personality and tried not to dress how I wanted for fear of someone saying something to me. I kept my status quo.
I tell you these things because there was a teacher my sophomore year that took notice to something not right with me. He took notice and approached me with out ever pushing. I never confided but I will never forget how he treated me and made me feel like a worth while person in school. Teachers make an impact. They influence. Joking about serious topics is not okay.
I know some people will read this and say get over it but let me tell you something I wasn't diagnosed with the aforementioned for nothing. I have made huge strides and have the worlds most patient and supportive husband. I have no idea how I got so lucky.
Moral to the story. Talk to your kids about how their words and actions hurt others. Talk with them and really listen to what they're saying to you. Support and love them. Get involved in their lives. Have the hard/serious discussions.
And teachers watch what you say teens listen more then you think.
Let me make one thing crystal clear my parents are and were wonderful. They have never done anything but support me. I don't plan on getting into the super serious stuff because quite honestly I am not ready for my family to have the details. So Mom I know you read this and I hope to one day be ready to tell you. Please don't be mad.
As I got older I started to withdraw from the world and peers. I thought I was not worth it to be friends with people and I lost trust in them. Once I hit high school I was so withdrawn and distrustful that the handful of people that reached out to me to hang out and such I turned down for fear of them doing something Drew Barrymore Never Been Kissed like. I hated every second of high school.
All I wanted to do was get by and graduate. Graduate and then I can decide who I see, what I do, who I am. I did not go to any dances except Jr & Sr prom, no football games no parties nothing. I got good grades stayed out of trouble and found solace in books. Books where the characters went through the ringer and turned out okay.
I missed 30+ days of school my senior year. All of them excused. Now a days I would have been held back or my parents in trouble but no one questioned it since I was considered a good kid. I skipped all senior activities and ran like hell to my new freedom after graduation. It took going away to school my jr year of college to finally allow my self to be me. I hid my personality and tried not to dress how I wanted for fear of someone saying something to me. I kept my status quo.
I tell you these things because there was a teacher my sophomore year that took notice to something not right with me. He took notice and approached me with out ever pushing. I never confided but I will never forget how he treated me and made me feel like a worth while person in school. Teachers make an impact. They influence. Joking about serious topics is not okay.
I know some people will read this and say get over it but let me tell you something I wasn't diagnosed with the aforementioned for nothing. I have made huge strides and have the worlds most patient and supportive husband. I have no idea how I got so lucky.
Moral to the story. Talk to your kids about how their words and actions hurt others. Talk with them and really listen to what they're saying to you. Support and love them. Get involved in their lives. Have the hard/serious discussions.
And teachers watch what you say teens listen more then you think.
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