Parenting Isn't Pretty

Just what the title says parenting isn't pretty. Parenting is not all rainbows and butterflies. It's the hardest most rewarding job you will ever have.

It's messy, it's sleep deprivation, it's frustrating, it's long hours, it's always being on call even when you are sick, it's being judged by others on how you parent and its just plain and simply life altering.

There are so many pressures today to be the perfect mother making your child's childhood from conception to graduation this magical time. We are expected to work full time, clean the house, shuffle them to their activities, be class mom, make 20 something little doodads for whatever class holiday they're celebrating now, cook a spectacularly wonderful healthy dinner all while making sure they have creative and charming activities to do and constantly entertain them.

This is not reality for the majority of Mom's out there.  My daughter is not a gamer or even a technologically inclined kid. She does not have an iPad, she does not know how to use a computer and she does not prefer to play her learning tab video thing.

Instead she has this wonderful imagination where princess' have sleep overs, coloring and taping pictures all over our house is the norm, and playing outside where the queens and fairies work together to thwart an evil doer. She even has two imaginary sisters who she has given so much detail that when she tells a story about them people think they are real.

We have decided to let our child be a child. To have the childhood we had where we created our own fun and didn't rely on our parents for constant entertainment. I want my daughter to remember the traditions we create together no matter how small, running around with her friends, getting dirty, and enjoying being a kid.

We encourage her to accept it when she loses at a game because there are generally no second chances and definitely none of this everyone wins and I deserve everything handed to me mentality in the real world.

So in my mind not only is parenting not pretty but it's even worse when trying to go against the grain of the societal norm. Mother's attacking each other and putting each other down because she didn't hand make those Valentine's day cards.

There are plenty of tough decisions you will make as a parent and breaking each other down because of our choices helps no one. Not supporting each other is the last thing we should be doing. Mom's need other Mom's and their experiences. Sometimes you just need to vent to another Mom and know you won't be judged but supported and encouraged.

We should be allowing our kids to make mistakes and take responsibility for their actions as well as entertain themselves. We are not doing our kids justice if we don't allow them to learn and experience the world around them. I admit I am a worry wort but I do let her do things that she may have a natural consequence for. I do spend lots of time with her dreaming and playing. I just don't feel the need to plan each second or constantly be at her side.

Nothing is perfect. Find the rhythm that works for your family and stick to it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise as they don't live your life.

And Just remember to breathe, no one is a perfect parent, apologize when you make mistakes and grow together. After all we all turned out alright.

Thunderlight Book 2 of The Dragonian Series by Adrienne Woods Cover Reveal and Giveaway

Some of you may know that I have been doing some beta reading and reviewing for authors. This is the second in The Dragonian Series and I had the pleasure of being reviewing the first book Firebolt. I am not normally a fantasy reader but I really liked the first book and am very excited to read the second. Today is cover reveal day for Thunderlight Book 2.  After learning more about Thunderlight enter to win some great Thunderlight swag!

Title: Thunderlight
Series: The Dragonian Series, book 2
Genre: young adult fantasy
Publisher: Fire Quill Publishers
Release Date: 21 November 2014

Book Description:

Vibrant, scale swathed wings… Abilities that can be harnessed by a chosen few… Dragons…

All this may seem like old news, but for sixteen year-old Elena Watkins the world of Paegeia is not finished revealing all its secrets. During a summer break intended for relaxation, she discovers that her harrowing adventure to retrieve the King of Lion sword wasn’t the destiny foretold by the cryptic Viden, a dragon with the ability to see a person’s true fate. The words inked onto the page of the mysterious Book of Shadows remains black and Elena must return to Dragonia Academy to discover their true meaning.

Upon her return to the magnificent castle she has to face a challenge of a different kind, keeping her boyfriend Lucian McKenzie, the Prince of Tith and love of her life, away from the dangerous new student, Paul Sutton. As a Wyvern, Paul has made it his mission to claim Elena as his rider but he is proving to be more perilous than at first glance.   

Everyone knew that Wyverns were bad news, and just as evil as the darkness that lurked inside Blake Leaf, the Rubicon forced to fight against his inner nature every day. But Elena can see a small light lurking in the darkness, a destiny still unfulfilled; to prove that Wyverns can be claimed. 

Will Lucian’s dark secret about Wyverns and Elena’s need to prove their true nature cause their love to be torn apart? And which of Elena’s friends will be sacrificed this time if she is wrong?

Excerpt:

Chapter One

Castle of Etan

Anger, betrayal, and hate turned my stomach acid, it consumed my mind and I watched as bottles, papers and books on the desk, flew off and crushed to the floor.

A maid rushed to my side. She didn’t say anything, but her eyes reflected fear. The dustpan in her hand trembled as she started to sweep up the jagged shards of glass. Rising from the floor she began to straighten the books that had fallen to the floor in a heap. Every few seconds I would notice her eyes dart nervously in my direction as if a mere breath would make me lash out as her with my outstretched hand.

I touched her face gently until my hand reached her neck, tightening slowly as my anger began to rise once again. My grip tightened around her soft, shapely neck as I lifted her up from her position on the floor at my feet.  Listening carefully I could hear her heart fluttering like a bird trapped inside a cage.

“How did I become this way?” I thought, giving voice to my reality softly.

She just stared at me with round, brown unblinking eyes. Her eyes were sunken deep into the surface of her face and her cheek bones were sharply defined.

Looking at her sullen face made me feel worse.  I lifted up my other hand and struck the woman hard across her cheek.

A cry left her mouth and I threw her from me as if she weighed nothing. She skidded across the floor landing in a heap against a wall of cold, unforgiving stone.  If I was a dragon I would blast fire, redeem this wretched place to a pile of insignificant ashes.

Two other maids, hearing the startled cry, rushed into the room. Their eyes were wide as they took in the room and the immobile heap near the far wall. “Sorry, me lord,” the older one said. “She’s new, we will train her better.”

They picked up the maid who had come too and begun sobbing. She clutched the side of her face, cover the huge red hand print where I struck her.

I nodded. The old maid knew her place well, although I still didn’t care for her name, she knew where she stood.

I plunged myself down onto the chair and closed my eyes. A silent roar growled inside of me lighting a fire of rage deep in my core.

The girl had made it.

The Rubicon saved her life, so a part of him was still fighting me. I could still see her eyes searching mine. They bore into my soul, seeking answers. How was this possible! The wall wouldn’t allow any human to go to the other side.

Albert’s laughter echoed inside the castle; a startling reminder that good would always win. He would pay dearly for this. I would find a way, but I promised she wouldn’t live much longer.

I got up, rubbed my face hard and let the emotion of my anger escaped my lips. The rage that emanated from deep within me overpowered the haunting laughter and echoed throughout the entire castle.

“Master,” Cain’s voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Speak my loyal servant,” I said out loud. “What is the news?”

“Everything is in place. We won’t fail you,” his voice said in my head.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and let it out hard. “We’ll see.”

About the Author 

 Adrienne Woods was born and raised in South Africa where she still lives with her husband and two beautiful little girls. When she’s not dabbing into all sorts of genres, written under various different pen names, she’s busy being a mother, and a loving wife. Family always comes first and her hobby has to wait till she gets a chance to write.

You can reach her at:

Facebook pages:

The dragonian Series https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Dragonian-Series/301375039891281
Adrienne Woods: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=360305224089961
Firebolt: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=230323163821089   

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7219081.Adrienne_Woods
Google+: https://plus.google.com/u/0/103613266023743368283/posts
Twitter: erichb3
Blog: http://thedragonianseries.blogspot.com
          http://woodsadrienne.wordpress.com

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/318770479847797803/?fb_action_ids=698764403524016&fb_action_types=pinterestapp%3Apin&fb_ref=318770617283265787%3Af191cbed82644717b68f&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582

 Enter this giveaway for a chance to win some Thunderlight Swag! Click the link below the picture!

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Pinterest Project: First Dance

 I came across during my many times on Pinterest a picture of a couple on their wedding day during their first dance. What made this picture stand out was that overlaying on the picture was the words to the song they danced to.

I loved this idea and thought "Hey I can make this!" I found the best photo paper we had, another older picture frame (I have collections of picture frames apparently) went on our computer and got to work!

I pasted our first dance picture that I decided to use in word. I chose word because at this time I did not know about picmonkey or sites like that to edit things. This was several years ago when I made this.

After pasting it into word I typed out the words to our song and changed the font and color until it was just right.


Once satisfied I printed it from our good 'ol ink jet printer. Once it was completely dried I then put it in our picture frame and hung it up in our living room.

I still love it.

The Little Moments That Mean So Much

My daughter is a very strong, independent, opinionated Princess who amazes me each day. I love listening to her read! This is one thing that has happened in kindergarten that has made me so proud and excited to be able to start to share with her my love of reading.

We are reading Matilda by Roald Dahl at bedtime. It's one of our favorites. As time has gone on since we started it, she has been reading more of it to me and not wanting me to read it to her. This milestone amazes me and makes me realize she will soon not be wanting her Mom around reading her a bedtime story.

I love these little moments where we are cuddled up together enjoying our story world. I not so secretly also love when she falls asleep on me while we read.  I miss the days when she was a baby and would let me hold her and rock her to sleep.

Now that she is older these are getting fewer. I cherish each time this happens and try to be in the moment. They grow so fast and I have no idea where the has gone and how my baby is a little lady.

What are some of your favorite stories to read with your child?

Kids and Music

We love music. Princess and I listen to music in the car always and we bring it in the house with us via iPod.  It puts us in a good mood and helps the transition at the end of the day.

I love it when she sings and dances. She has been holding out on me! I thought she only knew Disney songs but I was pleasantly surprised when she started singing a couple of my favorite songs from the radio.

Music can help heal.  Music effects everyone. Don't deny it.  When you're feeling sad, angry, happy, in love etc there is a song or instrumental music that can perk you up or make you not feel alone with your emotions.

Songs evoke memories. Do you remember the songs from high school? When you hear them on the radio to you instantly go back to that time and think of a specific event?

Here are the top 5 songs I can remember from when I graduated high school:
1. N'Sync- Bye, Bye, Bye  (couldn't wait to say that to high school)
2. LeeAnn Rimes- I Need You (self explanatory)
3. Mya- Case of the Ex (:cough:)
4. Toby Keith- How do you like me now? (this one stayed with me past high school lol)
5.  Sisqo- The Thong Song (danced along a lot to this crazy song)

What are some songs you remember from high school?

Hello Hobbies

I really love the look of the mismatched letters spelling things out.  Most of them are really expensive. So I decided to make my own.

First I went on to google images and typed in free and the letter name or looked in Microsoft word.

After finding all the letters I wanted I then proceeded to size them and print them on photo paper from our printer.

 

Once printed I cut them out and laid them out.  I had an old picture frame laying around and affixed the ribbon to cover the pre cut opening the matting had. Next I affixed the letters on to the ribbon.

Finally, I placed entire board in the frame and Voila! I had my mismatched letters for free!

Cooking- Just one of my ramblings

 
I. Do. Not. Like. To. Cook.   I refuse to leave an appliance on all day that even new could cause a fire or short circuit who knows what.  I am not good at meal planning. We tend to just go with the flow and whatever everyone wants that is in the house since there is only 3 of us.

Does anyone else despise cooking as much as I do? I know this sounds lazy but seriously who has time to plan and cook an awesome meal after work  and all of her other activities? These things are more important that being a chef.

I was lucky my Mom cooked dinner a lot and made it look easy. Plus my food never tastes as good as hers.  I'm pretty sure you all think I'm lazy and are disgusted with me for not having this figured out when there is Pinterest and other things that can help me plan ahead or frozen  meals already ready to go if you pre prep them.

Sure we cook more in the summer due to the grill and feeling like we have more time due to more daylight but honestly the weekends are really the only days I feel like I can cook a decent meal and have time for it.

Now don't worry we do not eat out all of the time.  My husband cooks mostly and I am REALLY grateful for that. It does not bother him as much as it does me. In closing, I think my dislike comes from recipes and having to measure and do math essentially. I'm not good at math lol.

Thanks for reading this ramble. It felt good to get it out. 

Manic Monday: coffee edition

Today's mania is courtesy of  leaving my coffee in the car! Now mind you I work on the 4th floor on the opposite side of the facility :sigh:  I did go and get it. That it was still warm was awesome :-)

Me: 0 Mondays: 1

Father's Day

The Princess and I have been very blessed with the man she calls Daddy and I my husband. We've been through a lot as a family and a couple in the 10 years we have been together.  Through his father's death 6 weeks after our marriage, to law school and lsats, to a sick baby that never slept but Daddy still worked full time and went to law school part time taking 3-4 classes at a time.

Love of any kind is rocky. You must always work on your relationships to help them grow. Communication is key. We have learned that being and honest up from and excepting the others feelings is crucial.  Never go to bed angry. It will just fester.  We implement this with the Princess as well as apologizing. Mommy and Daddy are not perfect and we should be apologizing to her if we screwed up.

Father's are great. I have a very wonderful one who has been there for me through thick and thin.  He has kept my secrets and loved me unconditionally. I hope that we can be as good of parents as ours were. (My Mom is pretty awesome too however it is Father's Day :-)

I feel father's of girls have an even bigger influence on how their daughters perceive they should be treated in a relationship by how they interact with their Mom's. We always say I love you, hug and kiss much to Liv's dismay.  She thinks it's gross.  Father's show them kindness, tenderness, and respect.  Encouraging little girls to do anything regardless of gender roles is important.  The bond between Father and Daughter is beautiful.

So after all this rambling it has come down to mine and our guest poster none other then my daughter Olivia are giving you the top 5 things we love about her Dad.


Olivia:
1.  He does a lot and  a lot of things.
2.  He likes to play with me.
3.  He likes to make me pancakes for stay home day breakfast.
4.  He gives me hugs at bedtime.
5.  He puts on my shows.

Me:
1.  He is caring
2.  He is calm.
3.  He balances us girls out.
4.  He is my best friend.
5.  He loves his family.

The Working Mom Survival Guide: As They Grow

The chapter I am at now talks about our kiddos as they grow.  I do not have a teenager so I did not spend too much time in that section. However there were some really great things they pointed out.

Encouraging Independence: Help them learn to do as much on their own as age appropriate. We allow Liv to dust as she loves it, she puts silverware away, and clean up her toys. Does she always do this? Heck no, but she knows how to.

Let kids pick out their own clothes:  I tell her the weather parameters and she is supposed to pick them out. We usually get an I don't know response. :sigh: One day.

Allow natural consequences: I have a hard time letting her do this. We are working on having her own up to what has happened to her when these happen. It's always the wall's fault or Jasmine tripped me. It's never her. We talk about owning up to our own actions and doing something about them.



What do you all do when it comes to letting go of the reigns?

Pets

 
Pets are good for the soul.  We had two cats before O was born and they did great until she started walking. We spent a year trying to help them. Unfortunately we had to give them back but they were adopted together with in weeks!

With O's hearing loss and new school situation  we decided she was old enough to have the cat she wanted so desperately.

So in the fall off we went to the SPCA (Pets Come First) [shout out they are awesome!] and told them that we wanted an older cat who was calm and content to be a lap kitty! They found us the perfect cat. She was often overlooked at the shelter due to being so quiet amongst all the others in the cattery. I knew she was for us when O went to pet her while she was eating and she just stood there and let her with out missing a beat.

O named her Jasmine and with in a week she brought home. She is the BEST pet we have had. Calm, patient, a bit food crazy lol, very sociable, loves to be petted and talked to. Basically Jasmine thinks she is human.  She never scratched our furniture, used the litter box right away and when we let her sleep in our beds she always and automatically sleeps at the end of them.  A favorite sleeping spot of hers is at the end of O's bed.

I really believe she helped O this school year giving her something positive to look forward to. She is a great big cat sister and will feed and brush her with out complaints. It also helps that Jasmine loves to play with her. She thinks shes a kid and will talk to her while they play.

Queen Elsa Kitty!

 

I just love dress up!

I know research says animals can be therapeutic but it is important to make sure you have the right fit for you and your family. If it is not everyone will be miserable.

 
5 Things I Suggest When Choosing a Family Pet:

1. What type of pet will fit best with your family and life style? We picked cat because they are quite independent.  
2.  Do you have the time needed to commit to the type of pet you are getting?
3.  What type of personality traits would you like in your pet? This is important because if they do not mesh with your family its a disaster. You don't want a hyper child scaring a calm pet.
4. Are you willing and able to make the commitment?   They do become family members so no one gets left behind!
5. Do you have a little contingency saved up for the expenses that come along with owning a pet?

Summer Swimming

Please be careful this summer and keep a close eye on your babies.

Please be aware that you can drown after you leave the pool it is called secondary drowning.

Click link below for a story done by CNN.

Secondary Drowning

Manic Mondays...New schedule addition

The new schedule started today. Mondays and Tuesdays swapped! I did it! I took her to the right place at the right time! 


I am quite proud of this feat. I really thought after last week's debacle that we would be sunk! Pretty soon the chaos will wind down...just in time for the new school year to start.  I know people are always like why over extend yourself? Why go through all this trouble?

Simple.

My daughter is worth it!



Parents: 1   Mondays: 1

C-o-f-f-e-e

The nectar of the Gods! Yes! I need COFFEE :-)  Or at least I have turned into one of those people that does in the morning.

With out this beautiful substance my head hurts, I'm tired and grumpier. I can see how one would think that the headaches are caused from the caffeine withdrawal but I'm going with no.  Usually it's because I forgot to take my migraine medicine and got up later then normal so this wonderful concoction of beans, cream and sugar helps keep it at bay until my stuff can kick in.

I am saddened to say that I can no longer have coffee in the afternoons and still go to bed :gasp: damn you getting older!  I love all kinds of coffee too like expensive brands, cheap brands, free coffee hehe the list goes on. I do live for the fall though when Dunkin Donuts brings back pumpkin spice I was even more excited when they made them K-cups!

See it's a sickness a coffee loving sickness. Even pregnant I had to have it albeit decaf, but still have it.

It's like an entire ritual of fantastic you get to wake up to in the morning. The smell of it brewing, choosing which creamer, heck even which mug! (I told you I have a sickness)

My daughter is not always enthused the conversation usually goes like this: O: Hey Mom is that your coffee? Me: Mmm yes! O: Is that my hot chocolate mug? Me: no.
One day my dear child I will introduce you to the love that is coffee!

I mean seriously who doesn't like coffee!?

Okay I'm done now. :-) I'm pretty sure my coffee obsession just scared everyone away. :sigh:

So what is your favorite coffee and mug to drink it out of and why?


To answer mine is the mug below in the picture. It's my alma mater plus it holds a heck of a lot more coffee then it looks! :-) Also pumpkin spice :-)

Kindergarten Graduation Day

Today was kindergarten graduation day. Yes I know some people think that's funny and wonder why they have this. Well we do this to mark yet another milestone in our children's lives.

They announced the graduates then they put on a little show. It was super cute and the kids were super excited! After there was a reception with snacks in the classroom where we got to take a lot of her things home.

It's a bittersweet time. As in a previous post she has definitely had a lot going on. We watched our baby grow and blossom into an elementary schooler.  The time has flown by! I'm sure she'd disagree but it most certainly has.

So proud!

Me Time

Let's face it we all need Me Time.  We may not want to take it since there are a million and one things to do like laundry, dishes, vacuuming, after school activities, dinner etc. Or you just don't want to give up that time with your child period.

Me time is very important. It helps you balance yourself and life out.  Some of us take time outs when we are frustrated but me time is more then that. It's doing something you love for yourself, spending time with friends, going grocery shopping alone, anything that helps you separate yourself for a time in order to rejuvenate you.

We can't take care of our families if we don't take care of ourselves.  I found it was easier to take some me time as the princess got older. I felt more comfortable with all of the things she had going on leaving for a few hours.  Feeling like yourself again allows you to better control your emotions, patience and clear your mind for better decision making. It also allows you to slow down and step back from the chaos.

One of the things I love to do is read. Reading is a way to transport myself for a period of time somewhere else and embrace the characters and their plights with in.  I admit I prefer romance's and happy endings.


I have a few favorite books. I stumbled upon a great book when looking for free romance books for my nook. It is called The Secret Dreams of Sarah-Jane Quinn       By Sharon Gerlach.

It is a long read but I feel the story line develops at a natural pace and deals with some more serious issues. With out giving it away the book is about a girl named Sarah-Jane Quinn who does not quite fit into her family's world the way they like as well as how she starts a new job that leads to some relationship troubles among other real issues. This is a book I go back to from time to time as I fell in love with the characters.

Mind you I am not picky about writing styles, when I read I am not looking for the next big literary geniuses of our time. I just want to be entertained and sucked into their world.


Disclaimer: I was not asked in anyway to review or promote the above book. It's just one of my faves.